This past Saturday, one of my friends got married. In the usual hurried stress of getting ready, one of the girls asked me to look for the mouthwash under the bathroom sink...upon which request I flattened as much of myself as possible on the floor to peer under the bottom of the vanity. *gleeful laughter behind me* Oh. Apparently she meant inside the cabinet.

I have this thing for always taking people literally. This can sometimes result in brutal treatment for others' entertainment or just looking stupid by accident. My mom and I were walking today and passed a neighbor we hadn't seen in a while. He and his brother (they're at least in their sixties) greeted my mom warmly, then noticed me.

 "Oh, I never would have recognized you! Have you always been heavy, honey?"

PAR--DO--NN???

"Huh? Heavy? Uh....yeeeesss."

I guess he was kidding.

Well, I got a little tired of unreadable font. And I love cool backgrounds.

A comment today from my 20 yr. old brother after he silently contemplated attending our older brother's wedding: "I'm not gonna hafta put a flower on my chest, am I?"

No sissy boys in this family, no sir. We're good West Virginians. With guns. Well...........at least the kind that emit neon globs of stuff that have to be scrubbed off the driveway.